...for courage

It's been a while, but I haven't given up just yet.
That seems to be my motto these days. Everything that's been troubling me over the years is finally coming to the surface, and by the grace of God I'm actually learning to deal with them. It hasn't been easy, I've cried more times than I would care to admit, but I'm finally starting to see some of the changes that the Bible talks about once you've surrendered yourself to Christ.
As of right now my greatest concern is my fear of being mocked or rejected for being open about what I believe. I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer ashamed to let people know that I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, but whenever I'm faced with questions I tend to freeze up. Even though I'm very active in church and bible study groups, I never invite anyone to come along. While I know how to counter most arguments against God, I tend to shy away when one comes up and just let them continue mocking the God I love. This morning my philosphy professor spent most of the class pointing out "flaws" in our beliefs, and instead of defending myself I kept my mouth shut. I feel so guilty about letting all these opportunities pass me by, especially when I continue to ask God for them.
God has a plan for me, I believe that. So why do I run from it? Why do I rebel against it?
I wish I wouldn't, I pray that God will help me overcome these obstacles so that He can use me, so I can help the people He's put in my life, and so He would be glorified. Pray with me.