A few days ago, I posted the following on my blog:
For the past few months, I’ve heard several people toss around the phrase “life changing” to describe certain opportunities to understand and serve God…the most obvious being my trip to Guatemala. They claim that these experiences will completely alter our perspectives on who we are and who God is. I used to believe this was possible, and sought after it as often as I could…and each time I did I was met with failure. Now, I’m skeptical of anything that claims to have that power; I’m not even sure I buy the infamous transformation that takes place when one accepts Jesus as their savior. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a Christian all my life and, thus, never experienced it for myself, but I just don’t think it’s possible. At least not overnight.
I don’t doubt in God’s power or His love for us; I know that if He wants us to know Him, He will find a way to reveal Himself to us. I’m just saying that relationships take time to mature; and God may already know who we are and love us, but we need time to do the same. Wouldn’t it be an insult to God if we didn’t?
Who we are today is based on years of experiences, one event isn’t going to erase all that…at least no good event. In my experience, it takes a lot more effort to change for the better than for the worse; I guess it’s because evil is so dominate in this world. When one tries to become…say, more like Christ, it’s difficult because we aren’t used to that kind of life. We’re used to sin. Sure, we may start off well enough; but the second things start to become difficult, we struggle…and that’s just the beginning.
As for Guatemala…I don’t regret going. It was an amazing trip and I’m glad I was able to help, but could those people, who’ve committed their whole lives to following their own culture and traditions, so easily turn to Christ after just a few hours of conversation?
Hence why my world wasn’t turned upside down upon my return, if anything I think it might have put some distance between me and God because we were placing more emphasis on building the stoves and shopping than evangelizing.
Kurt Cameron is in town and will be hosting a seminar this weekend. His plug: it will be a life changing experience. He acknowledges that this has been said a lot, but that this will be different. Then again, aren’t they all?
Maybe it’s me; maybe I’m too enamored with the world and with my own sin to have a genuine life changing experience. Maybe I need to find a more diverse group of Christians, one who has experienced said change. Or maybe instead of looking for that one thing that will revolutionize my relationship with God, focus on the little things that will slowly (ugh) but surely bring me closer to Him.
I don't want this post to discourage anyone, I'm just getting really tired of hearing people say that. Feel free to prove me wrong; but untill then I ask that God would grant us all patience, because as much as we’d prefer a “quick fix,” the world simply doesn’t work that way.
When I woke up this morning I still believed this, that it wasn't possible for someone to experience real change. And God saw this, He sensed my doubt and rather than let it pass He decided to do something about it. So tonight, as I attended a bible study here in Arlington God...He healed me. Rest assured, I wasn't sick or injured in any way. But...for the longest time it seemed like there was a battle waging inside my head. I would hear voices telling me that I wasn't good enough and that I never would be, voices contradicting me and never letting me go one minute without reminding myself how much of a failure I was. Call them my inner demons I suppose, or my low self-esteem; either way I was losing it. I almost killed myself because of it. But tonight, when I decided to stop fighting and give it all to God, it actually happened. At first I didn't know what happened; I just remember it getting really quiet. Then I realized: those voices that have plagued me over the years, that pain I'd been holding onto was gone. It was like someone had just flipped a switch. To be honest it's...really weird; but at the same time it's such a relief. To have that peace, that confidence for me is a miracle.
God is alive and active in each of our lives, He is constantly changing us from who we are into someone we never thought we could be. Believe it. Believe in Him, and you'll be surprised at what He accomplishes through you.
I kept the bolded portion so you could see the before and after, and know that I didn't just make this up on the spot. Although I kind of went off topic near the end, you hopefully get what I'm saying: that God proved me wrong, and that I'm so glad He did. Praise God!
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5 comments:
For some reason, I've never been able to see your blog. I don't know why.
Until now, of course.
I suppose I'm glad you had a "change of heart", so to speak, on that issue, Jason (the "miracle" or sudden change that occurs concerning salvation, etc). There's a part of me that still says, "That's bogus stuff...no one is healed that quickly or changes overnight just because they became a Christian". I'd like to think that way, but I (as you and most Christians) have never experienced that AMAZING transformation because of how young we were when we made that choice. BUT, maybe what I'm hearing are the voices you used to hear. And I just don't know what's right.
I'd like to believe that God can heal people in strange and wonderful ways--things we hear all the time. I guess it's the "randomness" of it that weirds me out. Ya know, the "interrupt the sermon, start singing a song I don't know, my tumor is gone 5 min. later" thing. It's always made more sense to me if miracles come about through extensive prayer or whatnot. But even though God likes for us to come to Him in humility w/our requests, does He really NEED ...US to do something for Him to do something in return? What if no one prayed for someone w/a particular health problem that seemed beyond fixing--no one at all. Couldn't God still heal that person in a quick and miraculous way?
Whatever. I like your posts. Too bad I'm so late in the game--I'd like to have read all of them and commented, but time is short these days...and thanks for your encouragement on my last post. Cameron isn't necessarily "better" w/those things. He may know me a little better, but you wil notice that he wrote nothing substantial in his comment for my last post...no offense, Cam. You know I love ya, dude.
I don't know what this comment means. :) So enjoy nonetheless. haha!
Thanks for the post; I may not be doing it for the press, but it's nice to know that somebody out there is reading this blog (with you that makes four that I know of-sweet).
Random? Maybe, but these people were experiencing such a powerful connection with Christ that I would have been more surprised if nothing happened (like I said, my words don't do them justice).
Plus, there was indeed a lot of prayer put behind each miracle; so maybe our problem is we don't think big enough. We expect breakthroughs in science or recoveries that take place over several years. We never actually consider God coming in to save the day. Too bad, though; God sure knows how to make an entrance.
There is a pattern though: God tested them and they followed through (seriously, would you ever consider interrupting a service just to start singing...he certainly didn't).
Thanks again
I remember those conversations while we were in Guatemala.
Good post Jason.
Well written article.
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