For once, I'm writing because I seek the answer to a question:
how do we know if/when we have truly forgiven someone?
Lately I've found myself constantly defending other people's behavior to my friends, family, and co-workers. I make excuses, saying that there's more going on than meets the eye and we should respect that. I tell my co-workers that a rude employee is probably having a rough day. I tell my sister that our stubborn father had a difficult childhood. Hell, once I even tried to be objective about a group of self proclaimed Christians who think the war in Iraq is punishment for the spread of homosexuality in America.
At first I thought I was doing what Jesus did, I thought I was showing these people love and mercy by standing up for them. But then I think about how Jesus interacted with the sinners he helped/healed/ministered to/etc. and I wonder if that's really what I'm doing. Jesus didn't try to explain away their behavior, He simply forgave them. He knew of their sins and He loved them regardless, while I have to come up with an excuse.
I think I've been taking the easy way out: giving myself a reason to forgive when there really isn't one...except, of course, to honor God's command that we should love one another as we love ourselves.
When Adam and Eve sinned, God didn't argue with Satan and try to place all the blame on him. He acknowledged their sins, just as he acknowledges all of ours...but he loves us just the same. So much that He provided a solution in His son, whose death on the cross wiped the slate clean. We are now holy in God's eyes, so He doesn't have to argue when we sin. We're simply forgiven.
I want to be able to forgive and forget, to let go of all the crap other people put me and my loved ones through. But to do this I've always needed a reason...even if it isn't necessarily true. When I don't or can't think of one, I get frustrated and let my anger eat away at my insides.
Is it even possible to truly forgive someone? If so, what does it look like? Do we actually have to forget in order to forgive someone, or can we remember and simply find a way to let it go?
Any thoughts?
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2 comments:
forgiveness is a choice. It is a daily choice. when something comes up that you need to forgive you have to remind yourself that you ahve already forgiven them and keep going.. nooone ever really wants to forgive it is just something that we must do.. i mean look at all God has forgiven us for and we dont deserve it at all.. it is hard to forgive trust me on that i am the world's worse but iv learned that forgiveness or rather the lack of forgiveness just ruins you and all that God has for you. I remember when i was struggling with forgiveness.. i didnt know where to start and really i just had to start just one day at a time letting go of the hurt and reminding myself that God is bigger than this and is always faithful and that i have forgiven them.. it was hard but now im on really good terms with the person.. and if you only knew the half of it you woudl be like no way .. but yeah let God have it and guide you and give you peace
okay so i went upstairs to do my quiet time and ths is what God showed me.. lol perfect.. because i wanted scripture to back up everything i had written earlier... later not tonight but later ill type you commentary too i use the life application study bible in case you have one too its page 1581.. anyways matthew 18:21, matthew 9:2-8, john 8:3-11, luke 7:44, john 18:15-18, luke 23:39 all those are passage of Christ forigving others.. "as we realize how completley christ has forgiven us it sould produce an attitute of fogivness towards others. when we dont forgive others, we are stting ourselves above Christ's perfect law of love." anwyas i hope this all helps some.
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